Updated Thursdays

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Dear Family (Part 6)


El Fam,



            I won’t make this letter very long, because, as you’ll see, I’ve got another, rather long letter for you to read. It’s something that I originally wrote for a young man whom I do not know by name. But his sister wrote me, a girl out of Houston named Patricia. She told me that her brother was not doing so well, and described a little of his situation. His story was so similar to mine, when I was his age, that I was compelled to reach out to him. After finishing his letter, I realized that my words could possibly benefit others. I’d like to know what you think about the letter, in which Incandesio will send me your comments, if you have any. She always sends me your uplifting entries, and I’m truly blessed to have you as friends, fans and family.

            At the end of the letter I’ve got a Cold Forty that I rewrote from something that I wrote in the past, but not on this blog. So, I hope you’ll enjoy it, and I shall speak to you, again, very soon.



Con Amor,

Los



---

What’s Up, Lil Brother,



            It’s da boy S.P. coming your way with a few lines. Your sister wrote me and told me a little about you, and how much she loved you, and if I could write you a few words of encouragement. But she didn’t give me your name so you’ll have to be “Lil Brother” for today.



            Her description of your life sounded almost identical to mine. I kept failing the ninth grade, all the way till I was seventeen. That’s when I said, “Fuck it, I’m gone.”



            I constantly broke my mom’s heart and all she ever did was give me everything she could.

            I was always in some shit, getting jumped, getting blowed, running from police. I never joined a gang, but many of my friends were banging, so I was right in the middle of it.



            Here’s the thing, though: I knew I was fucking up, just like you know. Really, we all know right from wrong; that’s not the problem. The problem is we just don’t give a fuck.



            “Carlos, you’re destroying your life.”



            “So.”



            “What are you going to do when you’re an adult and all you have is garbage in your head?”



            “I’m not worried about it.”



            “You’re going to end up in prison; that’s if you’re lucky. If not, you’ll be in a cemetery.”



            “I don’t care.”



            My mom didn’t realize it, but she was spoiling me by giving me what I should’ve worked for with good grades and good behavior. All she got was me disrespecting her. But every new day brought a fresh batch of my mom’s forgiveness as I continued being a bad person. It’s not her fault, she was just doing her best. But when you spoil a kid, a really bad thing takes place; that kid becomes selfish than a mothafucker. He won’t give a damn who he hurts, even if it’s his own mom, or grandmother, or girlfriend. Mix spoiledness with a painful upbringing and you’ve got a nightmare in the house. But for every throwed-off, selfish dude, there’s always some damaged chick who will take his shit. It’ll be a fucked up relationship, but it happens all the time. And then they have kids, and the kids get built with the same shit, thus the infamous cycle powers on.



            I used to blame my dad for my problems because he was never around, but I don’t know what my dad’s life was like. I wasn’t there when he was a baby absorbing his environment. Some people have colder hearts, they’re more emotionally dull, but it’s not because they’re evil. It’s just the ingredients they were made with.



            Psychologists say that the first five years of life make a person into who he’ll be for the rest of his life. They say the first years of life is when a person’s brain absorbs the most content. So, while that little baby is drooling all over the place, his mind is collecting data at a record-setting pace. It’s not so much that he’s learning, but more like being made. And, like I said, by the time he’s five, the sponge is full. His definition of normal is established. Whatever that “normal” is, will be the world he feels most comfortable in. So, if his definition of normal involves a high level of pain, he’ll create a life for himself that produces that level. Maybe gang life, or drug use, or just being pissed-off about everything. Whatever it takes because our normal is a force that we feel off-balance unless we’re living in it.



            So, what can we do when pain, and drama, and bullshit make us feel whole? I’ve been working on that one for years. Even when I was making tons of money, driving expensive cars, living in a castle, I was still putting myself in bullshit. I was still getting shot at, still breaking my wife’s heart, still getting all fucked up. It didn’t have to be that way, but money don’t change shit. We still need the life that our normal craves. Even though I’m in prison on a fraud-ass charge, I guarantee you that prison saved my life. I’m lucky to be alive because I kept chasing trouble, and trouble would’ve surely buried me by now.



            It sounds like you’re on a similar path, bro, but just one letter won’t do much. After a few months, or a few blunts, you won’t remember a damn thing I said. All I can tell you, little brother, is that I love you, and it’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. It doesn’t mean we don’t need penitentiaries, but we damn sure don’t need judgmental dick suckers. I always hear some dumb bitch saying, “Well, once a person gets a certain age, they can choose what they want in life. If they choose to fuck up, it’s their own fault.”



            Whoever thinks that way doesn’t realize that, for some people, it’s harder to make good choices. And the harder something is, the more people fail. For others it’s easier because their definition of normal involves less pain, so they’ll make better decisions because they feel more comfortable in better environments. I had all the nicest things in the world, but I still hung out in the worst places because that was the only time I felt at home.



            It reminds me of that chick who don’t feel right with the right guy. “He’s too boring, too mushy, corny, no challenge.” She has no idea why she goes dry around this guy, but it’s a natural reaction. Then she meets the exciting guy, the one who’s a challenge, the one who makes her feel alive. Now her donut gets wetter than a dolphin, but two months later she’s getting treated like dog shit. Still, she’ll stick with this dude as he drags her through a thousand miles of misery. Why? Because, somehow, this dude provides a life that is closer to her definition of normal that what the nice guy can provide. She’s instinctively attracted to pain, and instincts are harder to fight than a twenty-one year old Mike Tyson.



            I’ve always said that the world’s worst addiction is pain. That’s where it all starts. You’re not hurting your mom because you hate her. You’re not disrespecting those who love you because you want to hurt them. You’re doing it because it gives you the purest, most uncut pain that life can offer. Right now it’s your mom, but later it’ll be your wife.



            But when I tell you it’s not your fault, I can hear that same dumb bitch saying, “All you’re doing is letting people off the hook. You’re telling them it’s okay to be pieces of shit because, anyway, it’s not their fault.”



            “No, dumb bitch, I’m explaining the facts. It doesn’t mean that a person should stay the same. If you buy a new car and it breaks down two miles up the road, it’s not your fault; but that doesn’t mean you put an address on the motherfucker and live in it. You still gotta get it fixed. But to fix a problem, or, in this case, to defeat demons, you have to know who they are, how they operate, when they infiltrated.”

            “Fine, but you didn’t have to call me a dumb bitch.”



“Sorry.”

           

            Love is the most powerful force in existence – it’s the answer – but I can’t just inject you with love. I can’t make you care for yourself. All I can say is no matter what you did in the past, you deserve the best. The thing about that is only you can give yourself the best. Only you can do that homework every night, only you can be kind and respectful, only you can make the right decisions during those critical times in life.



            You’ve got one chance to prepare for adulthood and that’s right now. Adulthood is like a coming storm but, while you’re young, you can build a strong house, with weather-proof windows, good plumbing, good electrical, beautiful inside and out. So when the storm comes, you just sit back and eat popcorn.



            The “house” I’m talking about is your life, bro. If you don’t build it right then it’ll be weak. You’ll either live some bullshit life where you’re still hurting people, or be layed up in a cage or a casket. This isn’t what I think, this is one plus one equals two.



            I’m not trying to tell you what to do because I don’t think no one can. But if, and that’s a big “if”, you can find some love in yourself, to start fighting for yourself, you can give yourself a rich life. I won’t lie to you, it’s not easy, and most people in our position fail. Actually, that’s not true; most of them don’t even try because they don’t have the love to give a fuck. If you can’t find the love, what can I say? I damn sure won’t judge you. But if you wanna try, here’s a few instructions.



            First of all, you can’t hang out with fuck-ups. If you want to put your life on the right path, you can’t walk with people on the wrong path. It’s common sense but a lot of dumbasses have tried to quit drinking, quit smoking, quit fucking up, but they kept the same friends. It doesn’t work.



            Second of all, (which I just mentioned), you have to quit drinking and smoking. Patricia didn’t tell me if you did or not, but I’m pretty sure you do. You’ve got to find a place that can help you, because addiction to weed and alcohol is not easy to break. Lots of dumbasses have said “Man, I can quit anytime I want, I just don’t want to.”



            “Well, not wanting to is called addiction, dumbass!” (By-the-way, I was the dumbass in the examples given.)



            And last, you’ve got to figure out a plan to educate yourself. Then, stick with it. I can pretty much bet that you failed the ninth grade again, so now you’ll be seventeen in pre-algebra with a bunch of rug rats. My older brother dropped out of school to start working, but he came back a few years later. He was twenty-one when he graduated, and there’s no shame in that. He might’ve been the only kid at lunch with potato chips in his beard, but his classmates were too scared to laugh about it. (laughing)



            Or, you can take G.E.D. classes, graduate that way, and go from there. With a G.E.D. you can go straight to Jr. College, which is what I did, and get an Associate’s Degree, which is what I didn’t do. Or, after two years of Jr. College, you can transfer to a four-year college, and get a Bachelor’s, or even a Master’s Degree. You can also take a trade in Jr. College like mechanics, or plumbing, or even be a cop.

            “Booooooo!”

            “Hey! Who said that?!!”

            “Not me.”



            There’s many good options, little brother. If I were you, I’d talk to a school counselor and see what advice he or she can give you. Just say, “Look, I’m sixteen, hung out with the wrong people, still in the ninth grade, but I want to try to save me life. Can you help me with a plan?” That’s what counselors are for, so make ‘em earn their paycheck.



            If you ask me, I say stick with high school. But, if possible, start over at a new school, so that old friends won’t be able to make things difficult for you.



            Before I go let me say one last thing: maybe you’ve made some dishonest money before. Maybe sold a little weed, or some stolen rims, or maybe you’ve done worse. I’ve been there; I had four felonies by the time I was fourteen, and that’s just what’s on paper. I want you to know that I’m not trying to preach when I tell you this. All I’m doing is relaying the truth. If you don’t listen, you won’t be the first or the last. With that said, I want you to remember five words: Always make your money honestly. Whenever the time comes for you to make a living, whether it’s now or after you’ve gotten a degree in grooming hamsters, make sure your every penny is made legally. The richest criminal in the world might have nice things, but he’ll never have happiness. Because the main ingredient for happiness is peace, and dishonest money robs you of that priceless treasure. A dope dealer living like Donald Trump would be better off flipping burgers for Ronald McDonald. Only the blind believe that an abundance of money makes you rich. That belief is one of the cruelest jokes that life can play on us. True wealth is good health, a peaceful home, and beautiful relationships. Only honest men can have all three.



            I’m no angel, bro. I make lots of mistakes. But I love God and I love people. I don’t know a lot about the Bible, but I know God said, “Listen, if you have ears!” If you don’t have ears, well, I guess you got a damn good excuse. But how do you wear sunglasses if……..Let me stop trippin. Good luck, bro.



Con Amor,

Los

---

Now, let us twist the top off of



Another Cold 40

“This Is Not Chess”



I been locked up so damn long I feel like Socrates


think the last movie that I saw was fuckin Rocky 3


wait, was it Rocky 2? neva mind I can't recall


Hey, do they still sell Screw cassettes at the mall?


what about the carnival, where I shot the basketball


won that Fara Fawcett shirt, and that little rabbit claw


every line I rap is raw so I hope you have a straw


really I'm da crack 'n' ya'll softa than a padded bra


spongy like a deer nose or squooshy like some earlobes


you should just cheer Los cause ya'll ain't even near G.O.A.T.S


that is just a mere hoax 'n' I ain't tryna hear jokes


all I'm tryna do is get this fuckin shit clear folks


I am what they fear most drinkin rootbeer floats


President of Dope House and even got the queer's votes


"How do you know that you da best? Can ya share it?"


Well, like a bird that gave birth, it's a parent


haters you can lick a nut matta fact sick a duck


"Los, but the kids are reading this!" I don't give a fuck


drinkin outa prison cup locked like an animal


I swear I heard the judge say, "Remember the Alamo!"


all they really did, took me from a slow suicide


They was at the party like, "Toast to Los crucified!"


"Wait, Judge, look outside! Those are all his Stan fans!


Blacks, Whites, Browns even aggravated Afghans!


Indians and Asians, too. Look! there's a buncha nunns!


One's gotta fuckin gun! Run! We're in trouble, Judge!"


I done did a hundred months askin guards, "What's for lunch?"


watchin T.V. playin chess eatin Crunch 'n' Munch


chillin with computer hackaz, pistol packaz, money jackaz


old men wearin Huggy pampaz unlucky bastards


me, I be higha than Mariah's fifth octive


I went up for a lay up but my potna Cliff blocked it


I was like, "Man, in the world people let me win!"


He was like, "Los, look, fuck if you SPM."


Fine! I'll just stick to rap! make the people jubilant


doing comp and only usin one squeeze of lubricant


slap'em like a stupid kid make'em tie his shoestrings


this is not chess bitch how can there be two kings


fuck it, though, you can claim it all, I ain't trippin on it


Nas put rap in a grave, I'm just pissin on it! (lol!)




                        Los

29 comments:

ELchapoGUZMAN82 said...

Happy 4th of july to everybody posting on here and to you incandesio thank you for making my day by posting that letter with that said FREE THE FUKN MEXICAN,FREE THE KING,FREE SPM

Anonymous said...

Ahhh love tht cold 40 ' Free SPM Finally Wht I Was Waiting For<3 Thank You Incandesio(:

Anonymous said...

Free dat boy Los much love 4rom ovadose,texas 432

Anonymous said...

damn Los those cold 40's got me feelin right!! incandesio, let spm know that everybody takes his advice whether we know it or not, he always has good shit to say and its nice to see he still has a good sense of humor. im sure "lil brother" is gonna be stocked when he reads that letter, i wish somebody had given me some real advice like los is been giving. dont matter what age you are when you see/read/hear the truth you just know it. FREE THE MEXICAN

ps. ask los about screwston slow learner and the cold 40's cd please and also if they have any unreleased tracks or cds from the dope house crew and if they do, will they ever release it??

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK INCANDESIO

Anonymous said...

sad that los' brother arthur doesn't give a damn about the fans as much as spm does.... never let family in on your business people!!, it only creates problems.....

Anonymous said...

Damn its good to hear from SPM, it had been awhile!!!! A degree in grooming hamsters...i might look into that. SP is so wise, the realist nigga ever!!!!! Thanks for everything Los. Its great how he shows the fans love,real nigga shit.we haven't forgotten about u we're still bumping ur new jams and the classics. FREE SPM!!!!Praying for ur release.

Anonymous said...

YO LOS IS THE KING OF RAP...HE DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THAT BULLSHIT WHICH MAKES HIM THE BEST

Anonymous said...

Good shit from los... Whats up with that son of norma tho we still haven't gotten an official release date :(

ivan said...

I agree with the rest SPM is the King.I always pay close attention to what u have to say whether it be one of ur letters or a song,Im always learning something new. But don't get me wrong I also love the gangster tracks. Never change there's no one like you. Free South Park Mexican!

Anonymous said...

Incandesio what's SPM's mailing address again..? I feel like I can REALLLY relate to spm.. I was addicted to storms too.. Never had my father in my life and I too was in 9th for a long tym, three years,... And got kicked out... And much more.. But I came back and now im a straight A student working on graduating with HONORS and want to right los, to see what he has to tell me..

E*Jay said...

I can't wait till all these cold 40's come out in another freestyle album by none other than Mr. S.p to da M when he's back on that mic! Girl good job posting these and everything else..FREE LOS

Incandesio said...

Thans for the kind words, everyone! 2:20, the address is below:

Carlos Coy
#1110642
James V. Allred Unit
2101 FM 369 N.
Iowa Park, TX
76367

Anonymous said...

Free my nigga Los! I know u don't know this but u have given me some of the best advice ever. Truly feel like you're part of my family and sadness me to know that you are locked up. Free SPM!

Anonymous said...

BEEN A FAN OF SPM SINCE 1997. MET HIM AND WENT OUT TO SOME CLUBS WITH HIM IN SAN ANTONIO IN NOVEMBER OF 2001. ONE OF THE REALIST AND COOLEST CATS I HAVE EVER MET. HES A GENIUS ARTIST. IT TRULY AMAZES ME THAT HES BEEN LOCKED UP NOW FOR 10 YEARS AND HE STILL WRITES RAPS BETTER THAN EVER! I DO NOT KNOW HOW THIS MANS SOUL IS NOT CRUSHED ESPECIALLY IN ISOLATION. PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS MAN IS GOING THROUGH. BUT HE STILL COMES OUT WITH THE ILLEST FLOWS. MAN THESE COLD FORTYS JUST KEEP ME WANTING MORE! YOU MADE MY DAY LOS. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, CUZ YOUR STEADY HELPING ME KEEP MINE!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the address Incandesio.. :))

Julio said...

Ur the best SPM.. Keep ur head up and stay strong like always my brotha.. spm the king of rap.. god bless u my nigga.. I hope all dis bullshit dat was put on u clears up... free dat nigga los...

Anonymous said...

Keep droping those quarentaz spm stay strong homie. Free that spm!!!

Anonymous said...

fuck july 4th thats the day the racist betrayed england

Anonymous said...

when he says "yall aint even near GOATS" is he talkin about the Chupacabra? lol

Anonymous said...

G.O.A.T= Greatest Of All Time

Anonymous said...

Sp hurry up with the album please we need it

Anonymous said...

Hey iscandesio can you ask spm if he will ever drop a cold 40 representing dope house family?
Free spm!!! Wds carolyns hook one of my favorite songs..

APatientFan said...

Like Da rap Hopefully I Will One Day B Able To Bring Mexicans Up Like Dis Nigga Did N Not Give A Fuck Cuz Honestly Every Song Dis Nigga Has Made I Can Relate To To A Point But Dnt Ask For Dope House Crew To Keep Doing Music With Da King It Has Been Ten Years N Dnt Forget It WAT DA FUCK HAVE DEY DONE SINCE DEN bash did a lil smthg smthg but it sucked cuz wasnt bout shit he use to rap about all im sayin is it not dope house withouy SPM cuz i feel most dis care bout wat ppl think N I For Sure Dnt N I Hells No SPM dnt give a fuck but I GURANTEE IM COMING UP WIT MY PPL cuz dis niggas scared to say im a MEXICAN

Patricia Nuncio said...

Thanks for posting his response to my lil bro. Los really does care bout his fans. We will always support SPM & his music. Cant wait for him to be released. He told me he was gonna get you to post it on the website, Thanks. Hopefully his words help someone else out thats going in the wrong path! Much love to Los & his fam!
-Patricia N.

jorge said...

Hope that helped that kid. I gave it to a kid I know that could use help. Thanks. IT means more from someone who's lived it.

B817 said...

Hey, I just wanted to leave a suggestion. Can you put the date of the letter on the blogs I wold really like to see when SPM actually wrote the letter and not just the date you posted it. Thanks so much I really appreciate everything you do! :)

Incandesio said...

Yeah, I can do that.

Julio said...

Free SPM!!!!!

ese creeper said...

Incandesio can u email me your email so i can send los a letter via email!esecreeps@hotmail.com ive been looking how to send it bout dont know where to send it! also i got my blog n i b playing spm on there u already know! http://91creeper.blogspot.mx/ but please get at me! im trying to share my little story with him!
or can i just post it as a comment? would you make sure he b able to read it?