Quick Update: Postmark: 19 July, 2012
Wut da dilla? Well, as most of you know, I asked Incandesio to start a “Quick Update” section on her site. Sometimes I feel like saying a few things, without a long, complex letter, so expect to hear from me a lot more often.
Incandesio often writes me with what she transcribes on her site, also with your comments, letters to Lykos and other write-ups she does. I love reading these letters, and I’m very thankful for what she does.
On this last letter, someone asked about Bing, and it’s fine to ask about anything you want. Personally, I’m not crazy about always talking about this fucked up situation I’m in. It’s good to talk about other things every now and then.
One person asked what my personal thoughts on Bing were. I’d love to answer that question. Bing is a monsterous talent. He was our future. He was an extremely gifted artist and a lyrical genius. Still is. I’m not sure if he could make beats, but he might have been good at that, too.
Bing was on this unit when I first got here. He sent me a letter full of love and also a bundle of stamps in case I didn’t have any. Ya see, when you get moved to a different prison, most of your property doesn’t go with you. It takes a few weeks to catch up to you. So, yes, I did need those stamps to write home and tell my family that I had been moved to another unit.
Bing and I were in the County together and he wrote about some legal help he needed. I wrote him back with some info.. but then I got shipped to prison. Bing is not supposed to be in prison. He was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. I won’t rest till both of us are free.
On this spmaftermath letter, some dude is telling Incandesio to delete the fucking blog, and I’m not sure why this dude is talking crap. He’s supposed to be the son of someone we pissed off, evidently. What trips me out is this cat is talking cash shit to a woman, a mother of little children, and someone’s beautiful daughter. That’s what’s crazy about this internet shit. Honestly, I knew nothing about the internet till I came to prison. I don’t know, I guess I thought computers were just for smart people. But it trips me out how so many people talk trash, make threats, “I’ll find you, you’ll regret it, you’ll scream for mercy, I’ll eat your eyeballs, fuck you, fuck your mom, fuck your life, you ain’t shit, blah, blah, blah….” It just blows my mind, because in prison, if you even look at someone sideways, you’ll have to back up that look. Even in High Security, a mothafucker will will get with you if need be. I totally understand the complaints that people make concerning the net – how people talk trash and do not get held accountable because they’re in their own home, safe and sound. But I urge you guys, don’t get into spit wars with these people. I’m sorry if my letter to Filero set a bad example, and there is no good excuse. I should have just told the truth without name-calling and without anger in my voice. But Filero was/is close to me; hell, he lived with me for God’s sake. Very rarely will I lose my cool like that, and if it does happen, it’s usually someone who I’m close to. Those are the people who break my heart the worst. I guess Filero just needed some attention. There’s no doubt that he’s done a lot for the Mexican American rap artist. He even taught me how to make beats. But he seems to want to be more that what he is, or just say he did more than what he did. But you know what’s crazy about all this? Filero has a beat on The Son of Norma! In 2010, when we were looking for beats, he submitted, like, nine beats. A few were pretty nice. I wrote a song called “Frustration” to one of those beats and I wrecked that bitch. Actually, I think I used lyrics from one of my earlier Cold Forties:
Christians please pray for me, haters please keep me strong
Players please love me like you love my every single song
Since my first October 5th, both my fucking palms itched
Made myself millions, but that’s not what I call rich
Once I told my mom this, “You are not my mom, bitch,
I sung these 2 lines <
you stoled me from my family, fed me from the wrong tits.”
Please forgive your youngest son, you know I’ll fucking die for you
Norma you’re my life, you’re in almost every rhyme I do…..
I wrecked that hoe. But it’s funny how the man has his heart set against the Dope House, yet submits his songs in hopes of the Dope House using one for an SPM project. Still, let me make it clear that I do love Filero. I’m not the type of to hate people. It’s really odd, because I can go to sleep, literally ready to kill a bitch, but then wake up ready to forgive the person. How the fuck can I stay mad at someone when I’m so blessed? I think you guys should all feel that way. Man, anytime bad feelings try to get me down, I say, “Hold up, Los. Don’t forget about that dude you met at the Walls Unit. The one who told you that as soon as he gets a chance, he’s going to hang himself. Why? Because he has a malignant tumor in his head that hurts so bad, he can’t take it. He would rather die in twenty short seconds, than die an excruciating death for the next six months. Don’t forget about the dude that got hit in the back of the neck, and is now paralyzed. He just wishes he could stand up and take a piss. You’ve got healthy kids, healthy body, a family that loves and supports you, lots of people that love you, ten toes, ten fingers.
Yeah, so that’s how I’m always thinking, man. Even when I write you guys, I just thank God that my hand works, that my mind works. Shit, there’s a lot of dudes here that are mentally ill. They have to take all kinds of medication or they flip out. So, don’t think I hate Filero. This is not some Dope House against their label bullshit. Not to be rude, but I don’t think there’s a man on fucking earth that can fuck with me on the mike, much less the dudes at Filero’s camp.
I wish them well, but even they’re smart enough to know they’ve got nothing for me.
The letter I got from Incandesio says something about FIlero writing a response to the response I did. One person commented as if Filero’s response made sense. Who knows what he said, at least I don’t, so I can’t comment on it. But I’ll be more than happy to clear the air on whatever bullshit he said. Last I checked, I’m still among the realest, and to tell you the truth, all my life I’ve had to deal with envy and hatred and a thousand Fileros. Trust me, I’m used to it.
But I will say one thing: My dumbass is doing exactly what those dudes want, and that go back and forth with them. It’s giving them the attention they need. I saw it on some of your comments. You were, like, “Where can I go to read Filero’s response?!!!” But I’ll respond to whatever he said because I guarantee you it’s bullshit, and I don’t mind proving it. Actually, it’s kind of fun, you know, responding and all.
Well, in other news, Baby Bash wrote me last night. He wrote, using Carolyn Rodriguez’s Jpay account, so obviously she ran into him. He’s doing good. I can’t wait to get out of High Security so I can talk to everyone on that damn phone. I’ve got mountains of ideas, song concepts, lyrics, hooks and more. We’re just going to keep blowing the fuck up. Everything that I’m going through has only made our movement stronger. People may not have realized that fact, but they will.
Damn, this is a long-ass “quick” update. Let me go ahead and make me a little bean dip and figure out what I’m going to do next. Right now, it’s 1:19 in the morning. But I drank some coffee, like, at 10:30 pm and I feel like I’m on crack. I’m going to make myself stay up all night so I don’t miss recreation in the morning.
Adios! I love you!